Monday, December 8, 2008

What I'm dealing with pt 1

Well onto a favorite subject of mine, sex, yesss!

Why is it so consuming?
I'd rather have sex right now than eat...but why? lol...

I've been in a bit of a drought for the past 4 months and it's been extremely difficult, well at least the last 2 months. I mean drought from everything, there's no one that I'm physically involved with or emotionally invested in at the moment, and for good reason! It's hard to go from getting it on the regular to quitting cold turkey; voluntarily and involuntary, mainly because I know I will not climax if I don't have some sort of connection with the man and involuntarily because...well I have no prospects really, lol. I wake up in the morning clenching my thighs together because a certain organ wont stop throbbing! Squeezing them together only makes the situation worse because I can feel my pearl rubbing up against my VHP. During the day I'm surrounded by beautiful, good smelling, black men who I fantasize about but at work I'm surrounded by too many damn women (the estrogen is stifling thus making my craving for testosterone even more intense). I finally get home (occupied by yes,three women other than myself) only to take a shower...alone...get in my bed to either toss and turn all night, battle with the idea of playin with the kat or somehow slip into an extremely erotic dream where I'm usually awoken by my own moans or the wetness that's left its' mark on my sheets.

Now I thought I had a cure for each issue presented but they've only left me embarrassed or in worse condition than where I started....

The insomnia-- usually when I sleep next to someone it helps me fall asleep so I'll invite a platonic homeboy over, we'll fall sleep but I notice whenever I do that the wet dreams come and wind up involving whoever I'm sleeping next to and I wind up startling them with involuntary movements or sounds, ahem, OR, they'll snore and I'll still get no sleep.
End result: Horny and wide awake still!

Petting the kitty-- just makes me insatiable, it's never enough and I get the urge to call someone who I know can please me to finish the job, only problem with that is the only men that know how are my ex's (big no-no!). So I'd just rather not do it.
End result: Horny and reminiscing about past escapades with the ex's (the good and the bad ugh!)

Ok, I can't really control the dreams I have so I just try to wake myself up...
End result: Doesn't work!


SO I've tried to occupy my time with other activities, homework, lol, working out, eating, mindlessly watching TV, excessive cleaning, texting, meditating, chiefing, lol...they still don't get my endorphins working like a good ol romp in the sheets will..

I just think it would be so nice to come home, take a nice hot shower with someone, have them rub me down with some Shea butter (and you know that shit is thick so it just might wind up being a mini massage ;)). A lil cunnilingus here, a lil fellatio there and some slow stroking to top it off, mmmmm...

or

Just rip my clothes off, pin me down and &^%)#* me like you're mad at me! I'm serious, just down right nasty and raunchy (Sometimes a female needs to be reminded that she is a woman!) hmmm...or on some Way of a Man with a Maid type of play...

In addition to that size does matter, it NEEDS to fit like a glove, there's something about having all your walls touched at the same time that drives a gal crazy....


I know, I know, a hot mess I am, but hey, I feel like expressing myself.







And now for a cold shower.