Thursday, July 30, 2009

EVERYBODY SETTLES...really.

But is it such a bad thing?

You've heard the the saying "never settle for less because you'll get less than what you deserve" but I've learned through all of my experiences of dealing with people that settling sometimes happens because of the stipulations of your situation(s). And it's not always a bad thing, it can hurt sometimes, it can bug you, but a person can only decide what they'll deal with and how far they'll take a situation. Sometimes things are a little out of ones control, some things can't be helped (i.e. a baby daddy/momma or ex-wife/husband). But at the same time people like to use the term "compromise" synonymously with "settle" and they are absolutely two different things. One has more of a positive connotation while the other usually is usually associated with a negative one, some seem to think that because they are compromising that they are settling, but I digress...


When I think about my future and the future of people and relationships it can be a little disheartening sometimes. I don't know if it's the OCS (Only Child Syndrome) in me but sometimes I pride myself on being first, feeling that I'm special/making others feel special and/or even sharing certain special moments with people just to say it was our first time experiencing something together. But at the end of the day one has to think realistically. Some of my girlfriends and I often talk about the state of marriage and how it's going out of style and that because of shacking up, people just sleeping with others for the hell of it, and/or children born out of wedlock, that that special union between people is a bit…..tainted. I personally would love to be someones first fiancee, someone’s first wife, and the first (and only) mother of a man’s children, I think it's most girls dream, but I believe the odds of that are a bit slim to none because of the reasons stated above. And no, I'm not saying that just because a person is associated with said reasons that they are less than or unworthy of love. I'm quite aware that all people have some kind of baggage which may not be attractive to other folk. Once again I digress. lol so for question's sakeI just wanna know if I wasn’t the first, would I be settling for less than what I feel I deserve or am I just a victim of circumstance? How much does it matter? DOES it matter? Who decides which values one possesses are considered as settling or compromising?

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

He will be missed

So as I'm sitting here all choked up over the Michael Jackson memorial service I can't help but think, wow, this man is truly the greatest! I truly believe God chooses people, special people, to fulfill some type of destiny and I believe MJ was one of them. Throughout his upbringing, his stardom, trials/tribulations and overall greatness MJ never failed to do what he was brought on this earth to do; to spread love, unity and joy to open hearts.

When his brothers came out carrying his casket to the hymn of "Soon and very soon we are going to see the king....", wearing those sequence gloves, it was heart wrenching.

Brooke Shields personal account of her friendship with him, Jermaine singing his favorite song, Smile. All done very beautifully.

When his daughter, Paris Michael Katherine Jackson, spoke her words at the end, even more heart wrenching. Yes, the frog in my throat turned into a tear. The camera kept panning over to the silver casket throughout the memorial and all I could say was "Damn Mike..." and shake my head. This is really saddening but I will *Smile*. I will smile because I think MJ had some kind of connection with anyone and everyone who loves music, can love and live for peace.

My heart goes out. Rest in peace Michael Joseph Jackson :)

Thursday, July 2, 2009

I Miss My Wave

Broken Glass 7/2/2009

What is the beach without an ocean?
Nothing but a dried up mass of broken glass.
That at some point in time, somewhere, was whole.

You come in and out of my life
Like the waves crashing upon the shore
You give a little bit.
You take a little bit.

You give me love, comfort, security
You take away my insecurities, pain, loneliness

Now usually my sand is loose
light and free.
Easily picked up by wind, going where ever it takes me.
But the closer I get to the shore I turn dense,
hard to dig through,
I guess it's the way sand protects itself from the waves...

But every time you come you still manage to take me away with you.
Every time you crash upon my shore you seem to smooth me out
You fill holes created by those who have stepped upon me
You wash away the rocks and shells that seem to bury themselves in me
You hydrate my otherwise dried up bank
And I wouldn't have it any other way.

You're so lonely out there miles away from the shore
And I'm so lifeless and dull on the other side of my berm
But together we dance, we play.
When the sun is shining upon us at day break from the horizon, we glisten.
The sun reflects on you, and you mixed with the sun makes my sand shimmer
All of that broken glass shimmers.