This world is amazing, it never ceases to amaze me. I was just staring at the moon, yes starring, and I got lost in it. It's bright and beautiful, just like the other planets and stars. This earth, powerful beyond measure, hurricanes, tornados, earthquakes, tsunamis, all that shit. Wind, snow, rain, thunder, lightning, hail, sleet, heatwaves, crazy. It really makes me realize how minute our existence is compared to how much is out there. It made me realize how tiny my problems are, how tiny everybody's problems are actually. Galaxy's, black holes, the milky way, comets, meteor showers, and this eclipse. Wow is all I can really say....I never really wanted to go into space, but now, I want to sit on the moon and listen to some Jazz.
That is all for my random moment of the day :)
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Saturday, February 16, 2008
PME
This here is dedicated to my sis Dawn...lol
The wind falls
Like the rain blows
origami through the field
of an aquatic journey
to my soul.
As I grasp for an irreconcilable
difference, the products
don't add up.
Can you help me find
the quotient?
The wind falls
Like the rain blows
origami through the field
of an aquatic journey
to my soul.
As I grasp for an irreconcilable
difference, the products
don't add up.
Can you help me find
the quotient?
Saturday, February 9, 2008
On a more positive note...
Drinking ice cold tap water from a mason jar.
Painting my nails red.
Seeing my 94 year old great grandma crochet.
Reading sheet music.
Going back to NC and seeing what new babies have been added to the family.
Slow dancing to no music.
Jill Scott (I love this woman!).
Here, My Dear and I Want You.
Making my mother laugh.
How excited my family gets when they come to Atlanta for homecoming to see me march.
Cleaning the house.
BEAUTIFUL BLACK MEN (I really love ya'll!).
Having my skin touched.
Little boys with ashy knees from playing in the dirt.
Little girls with the beads in their hair and the foil on the ends.
My arch in my feet.
Good smelling stuff, be it perfume or cleaning products.
Good movies and great literature.
Being Black.
Painting my nails red.
Seeing my 94 year old great grandma crochet.
Reading sheet music.
Going back to NC and seeing what new babies have been added to the family.
Slow dancing to no music.
Jill Scott (I love this woman!).
Here, My Dear and I Want You.
Making my mother laugh.
How excited my family gets when they come to Atlanta for homecoming to see me march.
Cleaning the house.
BEAUTIFUL BLACK MEN (I really love ya'll!).
Having my skin touched.
Little boys with ashy knees from playing in the dirt.
Little girls with the beads in their hair and the foil on the ends.
My arch in my feet.
Good smelling stuff, be it perfume or cleaning products.
Good movies and great literature.
Being Black.
Friday, February 8, 2008
These are a few of my less than favorite things...
In no particular order...
Children that know the lyrics to rap songs.
Not knowing enough about my history.
People who don't rinse out the tub.
Hearing an old school song I like and not remembering the artist.
The 3 years that have passed without me talking to my biological father and my 4 brothers and sister.
Onions and tomatoes on my burgers when I SPECIFICALLY ask that they not be put on.
The bottom of a pot or pan being scratched up by a metal utensil.
Miss Celie not whooping Mister's ass. But I understand...
Spotted glass.
Back hair.
Funny smells.
People who burp on purpose in public.
Unfinished work (any kind).
Essay/short answer tests.
Public restrooms.
The changing rooms and bathrooms at the beach.
Never seeming to have enough money when visiting amusement parks.
Instigation.
Egoistic hedonists.
Not understanding something.
Close mindedness.
White lies.
"Hurry up and wait".
Erectile dysfunction.
Not being photogenic.
When someone says or does something gross or inappropriate and EVERYONE cringes. Really don't like that, lol...
Chapped lips.
Inconsideration.
Unless it's math or you are in the 3rd grade, you should not be writing in pencil.
Electronic junkies.
Excessive amounts of hair weave in vibrant colors.
G.B.
THE FACT THAT I'M NOT GOING TO THE JILL SCOTT CONCERT ON THE 22nd or 23rd!
more to come... :)
Children that know the lyrics to rap songs.
Not knowing enough about my history.
People who don't rinse out the tub.
Hearing an old school song I like and not remembering the artist.
The 3 years that have passed without me talking to my biological father and my 4 brothers and sister.
Onions and tomatoes on my burgers when I SPECIFICALLY ask that they not be put on.
The bottom of a pot or pan being scratched up by a metal utensil.
Miss Celie not whooping Mister's ass. But I understand...
Spotted glass.
Back hair.
Funny smells.
People who burp on purpose in public.
Unfinished work (any kind).
Essay/short answer tests.
Public restrooms.
The changing rooms and bathrooms at the beach.
Never seeming to have enough money when visiting amusement parks.
Instigation.
Egoistic hedonists.
Not understanding something.
Close mindedness.
White lies.
"Hurry up and wait".
Erectile dysfunction.
Not being photogenic.
When someone says or does something gross or inappropriate and EVERYONE cringes. Really don't like that, lol...
Chapped lips.
Inconsideration.
Unless it's math or you are in the 3rd grade, you should not be writing in pencil.
Electronic junkies.
Excessive amounts of hair weave in vibrant colors.
G.B.
THE FACT THAT I'M NOT GOING TO THE JILL SCOTT CONCERT ON THE 22nd or 23rd!
more to come... :)
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Rest your weary head, my child
Just Go To Sleep 2/7/08
Late nights can be the worst
It's when you think of loves lost,
being mistreated, being lied to
being used.
It's when you cry yourself into REM
wishing someone was there to console you
hold you, kiss you,
tell you you're still beautiful.
Even in your most snotty, puffy-eyed state
It's when you feel a void
that used to be filled
with deciet, desire.
Any and every memory
can and will flood your mind.
When you think about how crazy and stupid and naïve you were
for doing this
or that.
Some of the best things happen late at night
It's when you're awoken by a kiss from a late work night
When you get a tap on your shoulder and that look.
True emotions are divulged,
and the skeletons fall out the closet.
When mistakes are understood
and forgiven.
Late nights can be the worst
It's when you think of loves lost,
being mistreated, being lied to
being used.
It's when you cry yourself into REM
wishing someone was there to console you
hold you, kiss you,
tell you you're still beautiful.
Even in your most snotty, puffy-eyed state
It's when you feel a void
that used to be filled
with deciet, desire.
Any and every memory
can and will flood your mind.
When you think about how crazy and stupid and naïve you were
for doing this
or that.
Some of the best things happen late at night
It's when you're awoken by a kiss from a late work night
When you get a tap on your shoulder and that look.
True emotions are divulged,
and the skeletons fall out the closet.
When mistakes are understood
and forgiven.
Reflection
I've lived in a lot of places, experienced a lot of things, met a lot of people and shed a lot of tears. I am in the company of some wonderful ladies that I call my best friends (you know who you are) and some genuine men (you too know who you are). Relationships, I've experienced it, but not in the way I've wanted to. I've dated drug dealers, heart stealers, and cheaters and now I'm looking for a wound healer. I do open myself up, maybe a little too much, but I thought that's what you're supposed to do when you really care for someone. Ah well, that was the past and after being single for a little while I've had the chance to look at myself, the mistakes I've made, the hastiness, unintentional selfishness...I’ve basically come to the conclusion that I’ve centered my life on making others comfortable and boosting everyone elses ego. I believe my kindness has turned a little bit into push-over-ness and I have allowed people to use me for their convenience, there I said it. BUT, I like making people feel good, I really do, I think everyone should have at least one person that they can say cares for them and I guess I’ve always wanted to be that person. I’ve always wanted to be everyone’s best friend, every guy’s girlfriend, every family member’s favorite child and I’ve done everything to please EVERYONE ELSE. I guess it’s kind of like a pie, everyone keeps taking a slice from the pie, leaving it empty and the warmth it once had from being whole has now gotten colder since pieces of it have been taken away. And, because it’s still sweet, everyone still wants a bite, never offering to buy the ingredients to bake a new pie, just consuming it. I've never been the most beautiful, had the best body, skin nor have I had the best hair or material items, so I guess I was just over compensating by making everyone else feel good because that made me feel good. Don’t get me wrong, I have had my confident moments but they were usually shot down quickly by someone whom I let have a piece of this pie. It is funny how the ones’ closest to you are the quickest to tear you down.
I'm young, yes, but I think I have a good idea of what I need in the relationship department (Don't worry, I wont give you a long list). But, I consider myself to be a good woman, a lil freak nasty (who isn't?!?), but good all the same. I don't really date, it's a waste of time, energy, and is just awkward. I don't take phone calls after 10pm from men (what do we possibly have to talk about that can't wait until the morning?...exactly!) nor do I make dates for the weekend after Wednesday (after Wednesday, it's mischevious girls weekend! lol). I study and paint my toe nails on Sundays, read a little scripture every now and then, and I'm very smart...a lot smarter than some people seem to realize. I just wish I could come across someone of the male persuasion that I could hang out with, rub my cold nose on their cheek to warm it up (when I'm really just trying to get a whiff their colonge, lol), watch Like Water for Chocolate and all my other favorite movies that people don't watch, have him meet the love of my life (my mom) so she'll have someone to call her son-in-law (endearingly joking of course), suck on their earlobe just for fun while he rubs my butt, eat my fried chicken with, tell my secrets, hopes and dreams to and then cuddle all night to some Teddy P. or Barry, whatever happens after that happens. I want him to be comfortable enough with me for him to do the same.
I crave passion, excitement, lust, reciprocity, love, affection, attention, empathy, consideration and honesty. I never ask for anything that I'm not willing to give in return. I like to think of relationships as a phone bill. You know there are just standard charges you have to pay (basic plan, service charges, state tax...), and then there are the extra's (texting, internet, roaming, ring tones, games...) To me the standard charges are everything that you're going to get from me from jump, even if we're just friends (kindness, trust, caring, compassion, etc...) and the extra's are everything that's manifested within the relationship (love, unconditional positive regard, freaky sex, love making, reciprocity...). The problem is, people want to use up all their minutes and then complain when they have to pay for it...
But through all of that I've come to realize all that I have to offer. A warm, selfless, understanding heart, a sincerity that some are astonished by, and a love for people that scare some. I still have a love for everyone, even those who have hurt me, only because I believe that everyone IS really good at heart.
I'm young, yes, but I think I have a good idea of what I need in the relationship department (Don't worry, I wont give you a long list). But, I consider myself to be a good woman, a lil freak nasty (who isn't?!?), but good all the same. I don't really date, it's a waste of time, energy, and is just awkward. I don't take phone calls after 10pm from men (what do we possibly have to talk about that can't wait until the morning?...exactly!) nor do I make dates for the weekend after Wednesday (after Wednesday, it's mischevious girls weekend! lol). I study and paint my toe nails on Sundays, read a little scripture every now and then, and I'm very smart...a lot smarter than some people seem to realize. I just wish I could come across someone of the male persuasion that I could hang out with, rub my cold nose on their cheek to warm it up (when I'm really just trying to get a whiff their colonge, lol), watch Like Water for Chocolate and all my other favorite movies that people don't watch, have him meet the love of my life (my mom) so she'll have someone to call her son-in-law (endearingly joking of course), suck on their earlobe just for fun while he rubs my butt, eat my fried chicken with, tell my secrets, hopes and dreams to and then cuddle all night to some Teddy P. or Barry, whatever happens after that happens. I want him to be comfortable enough with me for him to do the same.
I crave passion, excitement, lust, reciprocity, love, affection, attention, empathy, consideration and honesty. I never ask for anything that I'm not willing to give in return. I like to think of relationships as a phone bill. You know there are just standard charges you have to pay (basic plan, service charges, state tax...), and then there are the extra's (texting, internet, roaming, ring tones, games...) To me the standard charges are everything that you're going to get from me from jump, even if we're just friends (kindness, trust, caring, compassion, etc...) and the extra's are everything that's manifested within the relationship (love, unconditional positive regard, freaky sex, love making, reciprocity...). The problem is, people want to use up all their minutes and then complain when they have to pay for it...
But through all of that I've come to realize all that I have to offer. A warm, selfless, understanding heart, a sincerity that some are astonished by, and a love for people that scare some. I still have a love for everyone, even those who have hurt me, only because I believe that everyone IS really good at heart.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Writing a check that my @$$ CAN cash
Some me time 2/6/08
Eyes wide open
Back meets cool, stiff sheets
Legs restless, for once
No contortions, no kisses, no goose bumps
Hands, searching for that pearl that has
washed upon a secluded shore
They follow a path to see where it leads
Knees, yearning
Thighs, fiending,
parting
no not again tonight
not again by myself
yes, by myself again
Eyes to eyes, nose to nose, lips gently touching
Stuck between a pillow and a hard place,
I'm trying to keep up with your pace.
Holding me like a fermatta
Don't see how this can get any hotter
Tooted in the air, Y mounts my behind
Rearranging my organs, tapping my spine.
Gutteral moans, nice and slow
Wimpers, wails and screams at a fortississimo.
Back to reality, I'm dank with lust
Examining the space around me,
Cold and empty.
Wish I didn't have such an active imagination.
Nasty 2/6/08
I am on fire!
A 3 alarm blaze this be
across this untouched flesh
You know what would put it out...?
Palm abruptly meeting my bowl of jelly
cus jam don't shake like that.
Bite me, squeeze me
Rake your nails down my back
Run your fingers through my roots
Have a good grip?
ok, yank.
Talk to me with a mouth
you wouldn't dare kiss your mother with
Make me coo like a dove,
purr like a kitten
Make this kitty purr
Stay focused
I'm small enough to get tossed around..
But big enough to take it
Act accordingly.
Eyes wide open
Back meets cool, stiff sheets
Legs restless, for once
No contortions, no kisses, no goose bumps
Hands, searching for that pearl that has
washed upon a secluded shore
They follow a path to see where it leads
Knees, yearning
Thighs, fiending,
parting
no not again tonight
not again by myself
yes, by myself again
Delusion 2/6/08
I've been touching myself
all day,
wishing my hands were those
of a strong, passionate being with a Y chromosome.
Neck, shoulders, collar, chest
Monkey bites in places that make me perform at my best.
Warm chocolate skin, smooth soft and suppleEyes to eyes, nose to nose, lips gently touching
Stuck between a pillow and a hard place,
I'm trying to keep up with your pace.
Holding me like a fermatta
Don't see how this can get any hotter
Tooted in the air, Y mounts my behind
Rearranging my organs, tapping my spine.
Gutteral moans, nice and slow
Wimpers, wails and screams at a fortississimo.
Back to reality, I'm dank with lust
Examining the space around me,
Cold and empty.
Wish I didn't have such an active imagination.
Nasty 2/6/08
I am on fire!
A 3 alarm blaze this be
across this untouched flesh
You know what would put it out...?
Palm abruptly meeting my bowl of jelly
cus jam don't shake like that.
Bite me, squeeze me
Rake your nails down my back
Run your fingers through my roots
Have a good grip?
ok, yank.
Talk to me with a mouth
you wouldn't dare kiss your mother with
Make me coo like a dove,
purr like a kitten
Make this kitty purr
Stay focused
I'm small enough to get tossed around..
But big enough to take it
Act accordingly.
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