So I just got back from an Omega probate (three of my friends just crossed) to show my support only to come home utterly pissed off and disgusted by the male species. I'm standing about 5'2 and this big fat ass Omega about 5'11 230 stands directly in front of me while the other Que's knelt down for the bystanders to see. So he asks a girl next to me (who isn't standing behind him) if she can see, she says yes. I quipped and said "No!" playfully (all smiles and giggles) and he slightly moves to the side, only enough for me to see another side of his thick neck. So he moves a teeny bit again and I'm thinking ok whatever dude, I know ya ass aint gonna move so stop fuckin with me.
So I say "Ya know what, you good, I can see."
He replies with a smirk "I know I'm good, I'm trying to see if you can see."
I let out a chuckle and say again "Yeah, you straight! I can see."
He replies again (trying to be facetious) "Yeah I know I'm straight I'm tryna see if you can see."
If he hadn't gotten by then that I was trying to say he didn't have to move anymore he's dumb as hell...or just trying to be funny. I wasn't in the mood for funny because one, they smelled really bad and I hate funny smells, and two he seemed a little tipsy.
So not 5 minutes later he manages to stand right in my viewing space and I let out a huge sigh and suck my teeth (horrible I know, I couldn't help it) and he turns around and mumbles something.
"What?" I ask
"See, you not even payin attention to the probate, I asked if you could see?"
"Oh, I am paying attention, but you talking jilted my attention.(Then I thought to myself, does he know what jilted means?). But yes, I can see (looking around his huge mass of a body)...now."
"Oh, you tryin to see which Que you gonna f*ck tonight?"
It took 3 seconds for what he said to register to me and the first thing I thought was WTF. The first thing I said was...
"What the f*ck!? WHAT?!"
"You tryin to see which Que you tryna f*ck tonight?"
This man looked in his early 40's.
Now there are about 7 females surrounding me all lookin at him (along with myself) with the stink face. Needless to say I WENT OFF. Some F bombs here and there, a few other expletives to convey how I was truly feeling at that moment and letting him know I could give a damn about some letters. You don't speak to a woman like that. Point blank period. Esp. a female you don't know. I don't know if he felt so compelled to speak to me in that manner because he thought I was some Omega groupie like some of the others in the vicinity or what but he was messin with the wrong one. I don't play that shit. All he could say was,
"...See that's why you're not Greek." and stood right back in front of me. Aww.
Oh yeah did I mention I had 3 friends that were probating?! Yeah so I cleared my vocal chords and commenced to screaming out their names and other congratulatory phrases. Yes while he was standing directly in front of me, he eventually moved. My bad. ;)
And if that's what it means to be Greek, to put up with bullshit n thangs, you're right, that's EXACTLY why I'm not Greek.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Monday, April 6, 2009
Special Request
L'homme de Chocolat 4/6/09
The Chocolate Man
There he stands
Looking at me in all my glam
He smells so sweet,
Proper tone, erect stance
Gleaming eyes that make my heart prance.
The Chocolate Man
Can I have a chance,
To make your toes curl
And your eyebrows dance?
As you've done mine, many a time
Got me feeling...so sublime
The Chocolate Man
And the Chocolate girl
Giving those sheets a healthy whirl
He gives, she takes
He takes, she gives
All the more so this lust can live...
Merci de votre amitié :)
The Chocolate Man
There he stands
Looking at me in all my glam
He smells so sweet,
Proper tone, erect stance
Gleaming eyes that make my heart prance.
The Chocolate Man
Can I have a chance,
To make your toes curl
And your eyebrows dance?
As you've done mine, many a time
Got me feeling...so sublime
The Chocolate Man
And the Chocolate girl
Giving those sheets a healthy whirl
He gives, she takes
He takes, she gives
All the more so this lust can live...
Merci de votre amitié :)
Monday, March 16, 2009
If seeking my own sanity is a crime...
LOCK ME UP!
I've realized lately that the reason why I can't move on and open myself to new things (specifically guys) is because I haven't quite closed out a chapter in my life. Not too many things hurt me but when I feel misunderstood or that my intentions are misconstrued I get very upset.
I've only been IN love once in my life and I think what hurts more than not being able to be with that person is feeling like they don't understand why I can't be their friend...at least not now. Maybe I didn't express myself clear enough but it's like dangling a carrot in front of a horses face. You can't talk to them because it reminds you of all the late night chats you used to have. You can't be around them because the temptation is too strong...and it's not like you're just trying to be an ass for the sake of ass-dom but it's hard. So hard to the point that you just want to scream "DON'T YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU?! DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND HOW HARD IT IS TO KNOW THAT I'M NOT GOING TO BE WITH YOU PROBABLY EVER AGAIN?! I STILL FEEL IN MY HEART THAT YOU'RE MY SOULMATE"....one can say next lifetime all they want but deep down inside if one is in love with someone else chances are shit aint gonna happen on this end. So to still want to be friends in my eyes is out of the question or at least until I find someone else to occupy my time. But even that's hard to do when there are constant reminders of a love lost. It's kinda like a D or F on your transcript, no matter how many more A's you get, you're GPA doesn't move up too much until that D or F is completely removed...can't travel light with dead weight.
I feel like a babbling fool right now so for ya'll's own sanity I'm going to stop. lol
But I just want to say one more thing, despite whatever has happened and no matter how I may feel, there is always going to be a special place in my heart for you, never forget that. I just need time to heal.
I've realized lately that the reason why I can't move on and open myself to new things (specifically guys) is because I haven't quite closed out a chapter in my life. Not too many things hurt me but when I feel misunderstood or that my intentions are misconstrued I get very upset.
I've only been IN love once in my life and I think what hurts more than not being able to be with that person is feeling like they don't understand why I can't be their friend...at least not now. Maybe I didn't express myself clear enough but it's like dangling a carrot in front of a horses face. You can't talk to them because it reminds you of all the late night chats you used to have. You can't be around them because the temptation is too strong...and it's not like you're just trying to be an ass for the sake of ass-dom but it's hard. So hard to the point that you just want to scream "DON'T YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU?! DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND HOW HARD IT IS TO KNOW THAT I'M NOT GOING TO BE WITH YOU PROBABLY EVER AGAIN?! I STILL FEEL IN MY HEART THAT YOU'RE MY SOULMATE"....one can say next lifetime all they want but deep down inside if one is in love with someone else chances are shit aint gonna happen on this end. So to still want to be friends in my eyes is out of the question or at least until I find someone else to occupy my time. But even that's hard to do when there are constant reminders of a love lost. It's kinda like a D or F on your transcript, no matter how many more A's you get, you're GPA doesn't move up too much until that D or F is completely removed...can't travel light with dead weight.
I feel like a babbling fool right now so for ya'll's own sanity I'm going to stop. lol
But I just want to say one more thing, despite whatever has happened and no matter how I may feel, there is always going to be a special place in my heart for you, never forget that. I just need time to heal.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Recap
OK we need to catch up! :)
Actually quite a bit happened in February, it was quite interesting, at least to me.
I went to the Inauguration, had so much fun. I really love being with my family, we make EVERYTHING a family affair.
Around 3:00am at the Springfield train station in VA on our way to the Capitol!
Around 5:30am
The crowd behind us. The atmosphere was crazy!
My auntie and I huddled together. It was brick!
At the end, if we looked up we could see Bush flying away in his helicopter.
Got laid off :/ and what sucks is that it wasn't our fault. We had a high shrink therefore out inventory was some crap! The hood got us fired man...
I'm doing very well so far in my classes this semester. I'm praying for Dec 2009!
I've been going out a lot more, which is cool but can get kinda old kinda quick. Still fun though.
At some lounge lol...
I'm a God Mommy now, lol. One of my best friends had a baby and shes so fatnsweet I can't wait to see her!
More to come, I gotta go workout before I get too lazy today....
Actually quite a bit happened in February, it was quite interesting, at least to me.
I went to the Inauguration, had so much fun. I really love being with my family, we make EVERYTHING a family affair.
Around 3:00am at the Springfield train station in VA on our way to the Capitol!
Around 5:30am
The crowd behind us. The atmosphere was crazy!
My auntie and I huddled together. It was brick!
At the end, if we looked up we could see Bush flying away in his helicopter.
Got laid off :/ and what sucks is that it wasn't our fault. We had a high shrink therefore out inventory was some crap! The hood got us fired man...
I'm doing very well so far in my classes this semester. I'm praying for Dec 2009!
I've been going out a lot more, which is cool but can get kinda old kinda quick. Still fun though.
At some lounge lol...
I'm a God Mommy now, lol. One of my best friends had a baby and shes so fatnsweet I can't wait to see her!
More to come, I gotta go workout before I get too lazy today....
Saturday, January 10, 2009
20 Random Facts About Moi
My bad, Happy New Year.
Though there isn't much that's new right now hmm...inventory at my job is coming up, lol, borrring. Classes start next week, good, it's time to get this show on the road. Though I'm really confused about what I want to do after I graduate and it's starting to get scary. I'm thinkin about the peace corps...seriously...
There actually has been a lot on my mind lately and it's hard to sort everything out because it's so jumbled up, I'll elaborate soon.
Confession: I've visited McDonalds one too many times this week. I'm a sucker for apple pie and chicken nuggets, :/ lol I swear they put crack in them!
Confession #2: Although I feel healthier I thought that by losing weight I'd be happier, the truth is I don't know if I am.
So here's a fun chain letter thingy that's floating around FB and I thought I'd post it with a little editing of course!
20 RANDOM FACTS:
1) I drink ice cold tap water from a mason jar when I'm back home in NC. lol
2) It wouldn't behoove anyone to lie to me because the truth always reveals itself to me whether they know it or not.
3) It really irritates me when people aren't mindful of my time or space, that's definitely a make or breaker.
4) I am the "best worst" procrastinator when it comes to school, lol...sheeyit it may not get done when wanted, but it's always on time.
5) Dottie Peoples is my favorite gospel artist. Angela Bassett my favorite actress. Tom Hanks is my favorite actor. Spike Lee is my favorite producer/director.
6) I love love love 60's rock/psychedelic music and 80's soft rock.
7) I think tattoos and body piercings are cool.
8) My favorite song is It's Raining Men.
9) I’m very open minded, understanding and I don’t judge. I’m not very petty nor do I like confrontation.
10) I love NCIS, Law&Order:SVU, and reality TV, I know most of it isn't real but who doesn't enjoy mindless entertainment from time to time?!?
11) One day I’m going to disappear to an island where no one can find me and lay on the beach all day watching the sunset while sipping my Corona Light listening to Carlos Santana, Peter Frampton and Jimmy Buffett.
12) I believe in love but with the state of relationships nowadays and marriage looking bleak I'm starting to think it wont happen for me...and I'm actually ok with that.
13) I have all the symptoms of the OCS (Only Child Syndrome).
14) I want to do competition Latin ballroom dancing…and I will one day. And body building when I'm like 45, the sexy lean kind, not the BIG muscles.
15) I'm related to Busta Rythmes, Michael Jordan and Thelonious Monk.
16) I'd love to have sex with a blindfold on both of us.
17) I kinda don’t know how to drive.
18) I secretly wish that someone would knock on my front door and just kidnap me for the day. No call, no warning, just take me...*sigh* :}
19) I wish I had more female friends.
20) I love pineapples and pomegranates., lmao...that one is for you T.
Though there isn't much that's new right now hmm...inventory at my job is coming up, lol, borrring. Classes start next week, good, it's time to get this show on the road. Though I'm really confused about what I want to do after I graduate and it's starting to get scary. I'm thinkin about the peace corps...seriously...
There actually has been a lot on my mind lately and it's hard to sort everything out because it's so jumbled up, I'll elaborate soon.
Confession: I've visited McDonalds one too many times this week. I'm a sucker for apple pie and chicken nuggets, :/ lol I swear they put crack in them!
Confession #2: Although I feel healthier I thought that by losing weight I'd be happier, the truth is I don't know if I am.
So here's a fun chain letter thingy that's floating around FB and I thought I'd post it with a little editing of course!
20 RANDOM FACTS:
1) I drink ice cold tap water from a mason jar when I'm back home in NC. lol
2) It wouldn't behoove anyone to lie to me because the truth always reveals itself to me whether they know it or not.
3) It really irritates me when people aren't mindful of my time or space, that's definitely a make or breaker.
4) I am the "best worst" procrastinator when it comes to school, lol...sheeyit it may not get done when wanted, but it's always on time.
5) Dottie Peoples is my favorite gospel artist. Angela Bassett my favorite actress. Tom Hanks is my favorite actor. Spike Lee is my favorite producer/director.
6) I love love love 60's rock/psychedelic music and 80's soft rock.
7) I think tattoos and body piercings are cool.
8) My favorite song is It's Raining Men.
9) I’m very open minded, understanding and I don’t judge. I’m not very petty nor do I like confrontation.
10) I love NCIS, Law&Order:SVU, and reality TV, I know most of it isn't real but who doesn't enjoy mindless entertainment from time to time?!?
11) One day I’m going to disappear to an island where no one can find me and lay on the beach all day watching the sunset while sipping my Corona Light listening to Carlos Santana, Peter Frampton and Jimmy Buffett.
12) I believe in love but with the state of relationships nowadays and marriage looking bleak I'm starting to think it wont happen for me...and I'm actually ok with that.
13) I have all the symptoms of the OCS (Only Child Syndrome).
14) I want to do competition Latin ballroom dancing…and I will one day. And body building when I'm like 45, the sexy lean kind, not the BIG muscles.
15) I'm related to Busta Rythmes, Michael Jordan and Thelonious Monk.
16) I'd love to have sex with a blindfold on both of us.
17) I kinda don’t know how to drive.
18) I secretly wish that someone would knock on my front door and just kidnap me for the day. No call, no warning, just take me...*sigh* :}
19) I wish I had more female friends.
20) I love pineapples and pomegranates., lmao...that one is for you T.
Monday, December 8, 2008
What I'm dealing with pt 1
Well onto a favorite subject of mine, sex, yesss!
Why is it so consuming?
I'd rather have sex right now than eat...but why? lol...
I've been in a bit of a drought for the past 4 months and it's been extremely difficult, well at least the last 2 months. I mean drought from everything, there's no one that I'm physically involved with or emotionally invested in at the moment, and for good reason! It's hard to go from getting it on the regular to quitting cold turkey; voluntarily and involuntary, mainly because I know I will not climax if I don't have some sort of connection with the man and involuntarily because...well I have no prospects really, lol. I wake up in the morning clenching my thighs together because a certain organ wont stop throbbing! Squeezing them together only makes the situation worse because I can feel my pearl rubbing up against my VHP. During the day I'm surrounded by beautiful, good smelling, black men who I fantasize about but at work I'm surrounded by too many damn women (the estrogen is stifling thus making my craving for testosterone even more intense). I finally get home (occupied by yes,three women other than myself) only to take a shower...alone...get in my bed to either toss and turn all night, battle with the idea of playin with the kat or somehow slip into an extremely erotic dream where I'm usually awoken by my own moans or the wetness that's left its' mark on my sheets.
Now I thought I had a cure for each issue presented but they've only left me embarrassed or in worse condition than where I started....
The insomnia-- usually when I sleep next to someone it helps me fall asleep so I'll invite a platonic homeboy over, we'll fall sleep but I notice whenever I do that the wet dreams come and wind up involving whoever I'm sleeping next to and I wind up startling them with involuntary movements or sounds, ahem, OR, they'll snore and I'll still get no sleep.
End result: Horny and wide awake still!
Petting the kitty-- just makes me insatiable, it's never enough and I get the urge to call someone who I know can please me to finish the job, only problem with that is the only men that know how are my ex's (big no-no!). So I'd just rather not do it.
End result: Horny and reminiscing about past escapades with the ex's (the good and the bad ugh!)
Ok, I can't really control the dreams I have so I just try to wake myself up...
End result: Doesn't work!
SO I've tried to occupy my time with other activities, homework, lol, working out, eating, mindlessly watching TV, excessive cleaning, texting, meditating, chiefing, lol...they still don't get my endorphins working like a good ol romp in the sheets will..
I just think it would be so nice to come home, take a nice hot shower with someone, have them rub me down with some Shea butter (and you know that shit is thick so it just might wind up being a mini massage ;)). A lil cunnilingus here, a lil fellatio there and some slow stroking to top it off, mmmmm...
or
Just rip my clothes off, pin me down and &^%)#* me like you're mad at me! I'm serious, just down right nasty and raunchy (Sometimes a female needs to be reminded that she is a woman!) hmmm...or on some Way of a Man with a Maid type of play...
In addition to that size does matter, it NEEDS to fit like a glove, there's something about having all your walls touched at the same time that drives a gal crazy....
I know, I know, a hot mess I am, but hey, I feel like expressing myself.
And now for a cold shower.
Why is it so consuming?
I'd rather have sex right now than eat...but why? lol...
I've been in a bit of a drought for the past 4 months and it's been extremely difficult, well at least the last 2 months. I mean drought from everything, there's no one that I'm physically involved with or emotionally invested in at the moment, and for good reason! It's hard to go from getting it on the regular to quitting cold turkey; voluntarily and involuntary, mainly because I know I will not climax if I don't have some sort of connection with the man and involuntarily because...well I have no prospects really, lol. I wake up in the morning clenching my thighs together because a certain organ wont stop throbbing! Squeezing them together only makes the situation worse because I can feel my pearl rubbing up against my VHP. During the day I'm surrounded by beautiful, good smelling, black men who I fantasize about but at work I'm surrounded by too many damn women (the estrogen is stifling thus making my craving for testosterone even more intense). I finally get home (occupied by yes,three women other than myself) only to take a shower...alone...get in my bed to either toss and turn all night, battle with the idea of playin with the kat or somehow slip into an extremely erotic dream where I'm usually awoken by my own moans or the wetness that's left its' mark on my sheets.
Now I thought I had a cure for each issue presented but they've only left me embarrassed or in worse condition than where I started....
The insomnia-- usually when I sleep next to someone it helps me fall asleep so I'll invite a platonic homeboy over, we'll fall sleep but I notice whenever I do that the wet dreams come and wind up involving whoever I'm sleeping next to and I wind up startling them with involuntary movements or sounds, ahem, OR, they'll snore and I'll still get no sleep.
End result: Horny and wide awake still!
Petting the kitty-- just makes me insatiable, it's never enough and I get the urge to call someone who I know can please me to finish the job, only problem with that is the only men that know how are my ex's (big no-no!). So I'd just rather not do it.
End result: Horny and reminiscing about past escapades with the ex's (the good and the bad ugh!)
Ok, I can't really control the dreams I have so I just try to wake myself up...
End result: Doesn't work!
SO I've tried to occupy my time with other activities, homework, lol, working out, eating, mindlessly watching TV, excessive cleaning, texting, meditating, chiefing, lol...they still don't get my endorphins working like a good ol romp in the sheets will..
I just think it would be so nice to come home, take a nice hot shower with someone, have them rub me down with some Shea butter (and you know that shit is thick so it just might wind up being a mini massage ;)). A lil cunnilingus here, a lil fellatio there and some slow stroking to top it off, mmmmm...
or
Just rip my clothes off, pin me down and &^%)#* me like you're mad at me! I'm serious, just down right nasty and raunchy (Sometimes a female needs to be reminded that she is a woman!) hmmm...or on some Way of a Man with a Maid type of play...
In addition to that size does matter, it NEEDS to fit like a glove, there's something about having all your walls touched at the same time that drives a gal crazy....
I know, I know, a hot mess I am, but hey, I feel like expressing myself.
And now for a cold shower.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Gettin the bullsh!t out the way...
Just some things I've been wanting to say for a very long time....
*I got advised and will hopefully *fingers crossed* be done in the fall!
*I'm realizing I'm not completely over a certain situation that I thought I was, but oh well, I'll just have to deal with it. I indeed miss you very much and like I said before I just can't help it...
*Confession: I feel as though I think more logically than a lot of my peers...
*150!!!!!!
*...On the other hand I'm still pissed because I felt like someone didn't fight for me, for us, for what we could have had...it could have been so beautiful. Even though I was upset about some things at the time we still could have talked it out especially when you told me how you felt a certain way about me...but that lets me know a lot about the situation, maybe your heart really wasn't in it, infatuation is a bitch, it might actually make person think they're in love....but I will never understand why it was always so easy for you to go back to...oh wait, maybe it's that love thing again...
*I find passive-aggressive people very attractive.
*Why do I have to be the one to grit my teeth and just deal? I want to be obnoxious sometimes, I want to get triflin sometimes, I want to scream and shout and break things and say FUCK YOU, YOU FUCK-ASS NIGGA!, I want to whoop some people's asses sometimes.......but instead I chuckle, shake my head and :)
*That last one (^) felt really good.
*My vices replace each other...I have 5.
*I'm realizing how much I don't like the winter, it's cold and gloomy outside and all I want to do is cuddle up next to someone in a very warm dimly lit room and fall asleep. But it's funny to me how I always seem to be involved with someone during the spring/summer seasons but never the fall/winter and that's when I want to huggle the most. So on top of being freezing, you have cold sheets (lol), a low sex drive/no prospects, finals, "friends" or should I say frenemies, and a job that keeps cutting your hours.
*I think I have a problem with run-on sentences.
*But, I have my health, a loving family, a couple true friends and December 2009/May 2010 to look forward to.
*And I think I may also have a problem with starting sentences with conjunctions.
*Cunt is my favorite word.
*I got advised and will hopefully *fingers crossed* be done in the fall!
*I'm realizing I'm not completely over a certain situation that I thought I was, but oh well, I'll just have to deal with it. I indeed miss you very much and like I said before I just can't help it...
*Confession: I feel as though I think more logically than a lot of my peers...
*150!!!!!!
*...On the other hand I'm still pissed because I felt like someone didn't fight for me, for us, for what we could have had...it could have been so beautiful. Even though I was upset about some things at the time we still could have talked it out especially when you told me how you felt a certain way about me...but that lets me know a lot about the situation, maybe your heart really wasn't in it, infatuation is a bitch, it might actually make person think they're in love....but I will never understand why it was always so easy for you to go back to...oh wait, maybe it's that love thing again...
*I find passive-aggressive people very attractive.
*Why do I have to be the one to grit my teeth and just deal? I want to be obnoxious sometimes, I want to get triflin sometimes, I want to scream and shout and break things and say FUCK YOU, YOU FUCK-ASS NIGGA!, I want to whoop some people's asses sometimes.......but instead I chuckle, shake my head and :)
*That last one (^) felt really good.
*My vices replace each other...I have 5.
*I'm realizing how much I don't like the winter, it's cold and gloomy outside and all I want to do is cuddle up next to someone in a very warm dimly lit room and fall asleep. But it's funny to me how I always seem to be involved with someone during the spring/summer seasons but never the fall/winter and that's when I want to huggle the most. So on top of being freezing, you have cold sheets (lol), a low sex drive/no prospects, finals, "friends" or should I say frenemies, and a job that keeps cutting your hours.
*I think I have a problem with run-on sentences.
*But, I have my health, a loving family, a couple true friends and December 2009/May 2010 to look forward to.
*And I think I may also have a problem with starting sentences with conjunctions.
*Cunt is my favorite word.
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