EVERYBODY SETTLES...really.

But is it such a bad thing?

You've heard the the saying "never settle for less because you'll get less than what you deserve" but I've learned through all of my experiences of dealing with people that settling sometimes happens because of the stipulations of your situation(s). And it's not always a bad thing, it can hurt sometimes, it can bug you, but a person can only decide what they'll deal with and how far they'll take a situation. Sometimes things are a little out of ones control, some things can't be helped (i.e. a baby daddy/momma or ex-wife/husband). But at the same time people like to use the term "compromise" synonymously with "settle" and they are absolutely two different things. One has more of a positive connotation while the other usually is usually associated with a negative one, some seem to think that because they are compromising that they are settling, but I digress...


When I think about my future and the future of people and relationships it can be a little disheartening sometimes. I don't know if it's the OCS (Only Child Syndrome) in me but sometimes I pride myself on being first, feeling that I'm special/making others feel special and/or even sharing certain special moments with people just to say it was our first time experiencing something together. But at the end of the day one has to think realistically. Some of my girlfriends and I often talk about the state of marriage and how it's going out of style and that because of shacking up, people just sleeping with others for the hell of it, and/or children born out of wedlock, that that special union between people is a bit…..tainted. I personally would love to be someones first fiancee, someone’s first wife, and the first (and only) mother of a man’s children, I think it's most girls dream, but I believe the odds of that are a bit slim to none because of the reasons stated above. And no, I'm not saying that just because a person is associated with said reasons that they are less than or unworthy of love. I'm quite aware that all people have some kind of baggage which may not be attractive to other folk. Once again I digress. lol so for question's sakeI just wanna know if I wasn’t the first, would I be settling for less than what I feel I deserve or am I just a victim of circumstance? How much does it matter? DOES it matter? Who decides which values one possesses are considered as settling or compromising?